Part of the fun of browsing realestate.com.au is laughing at the dodgy property advertisements. With an abundance of poorly worded text and horrific photos, you’d think vendors would demand more attention to detail.
Headlines are crucial. Next to the thumbnail picture, it’s the element of the ad that should grab the attention of prospective buyers and make them look.
Here are just a few advertisement headlines that I’ve enjoyed for many reasons.
Big Brilliant Bargin
Yes, that’s really how it appears. The body of the ad is pretty impressive too, what with all those randomly capitalised words. Caps Are Fun And StuFf!
Just bring your belongings
As opposed to a meth lab and gang of hookers?
It’s a bit different
Only a bit, though. Mostly it’s same-same. PS: By different, I think he really means “shitty”.
Young Professionals, Step Right Up!
Parents, old people and blue collar workers need not apply.
Unilodge Is Pumping, And Everyone Is Buying
I’ve always wanted to buy somewhere that’s “pumping”. In fact, it’s at the top of my desired features list. “Does this apartment have ‘pumping’?”
Room For Improvement
Well, at least she’s honest…
Princess Grace!
Maybe the house has a name and it’s Princess Grace, but there’s no mention of that. My theory, this agent just likes historical figures. He’s got a place in Paddington with the headline “Ernest Hemingway!” - that crazy cat!
LET IT WORK FOR YOU
Stop yelling at me! And what do you mean by “work” exactly? Work, as in the ghetto slang with mild sexual connotations, or actually work? If it’s the latter, I’m usually at my desk by 8am - hope that suits this property’s schedule.
New York Style Apartment, with Rooftop Tce
I’ve actually been to New York and this apartment looks nothing like the ones I lived in or visited. Sure, the roof has been carpeted, but a “terrace” (as you call it) is hardly a common Manhattan feature.
